I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
