theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
