Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
