apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
