That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
