he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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