RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
