My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
