So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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