problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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