talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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