why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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