when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
