Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
