u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
