he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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