he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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