Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
