ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
home. puking in laundry basket.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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