Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
