Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
