I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
