Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
