Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ttyl tear gas
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
