so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
