So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
