Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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