next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
