Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
