Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
