it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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