I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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