Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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