There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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