so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
