Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
