Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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