Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
