I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
