this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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