her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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