her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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