My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
