i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
