Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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