Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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