Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
