So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
