hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize