i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
