How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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